While growing up in the South in the 90s & 2000s, the way black thought was set up you would have thought you were still living in Jim Crow. Passive aggressive mentalities ran rampant and being a submissive weak bitch was the way to be. If not that if you were black if you were like everyone else you were bullied, judged, or brow beat (brow beating is insulting someone & laughing at the same time)
Growing up in Houston, it was a diverse melting pot of many ethnicities but like in most Southern black low income areas if you are not acting like the quintessential, ignorant tough acting black person, you were picked on by black people. The conditions were worse the further South I had to move & the smaller environment got. Country black people are the most disrespect, judgmental, hypocritical, low moral people you will ever met in your life. Its not like the movies where you see country people are trying to be kind & are naïve. These country people are evil, will plot & scheme on you, & clap on your downfall! So beware! That Southern hospitality is a bunch of bullshit!!
Anywho, being suppressed for being different, being intelligent, being cultured, having an elevated consciousness, staying in my lane not coming for anyone grew me into the woman I am today. All I want to do is scream my opinions to the mountain, live unapologetically, and the way I want to live. But it has also scarred me. I’m not a big fan of human interaction & I trust no one.
Also, if we go on & on about the past of black women having your own opinion & thought process different from the masses has always been frowned upon. (Except maybe the Harlem Renaissance- shout out to Zora Neale Hurston-one of my favs)
It’s important to me bc ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be defined by my intellectual. Yes beauty is important & it is power but it is not everything. When your pretty people hold you up to an unnecessary standard based on what’s in their perverse minds. Most men view pretty woman as some type of sexual object they can get their rocks off & throw away like yesterday’s trash & they get great pleasure & power in that as well.
A woman defined by her intellect knows where true power lies. True power lies in thought and how you manifest that thought. And when you have your own power & are aware of your power no one can oppress you are control you.
Depending on someone 100% of your mind & your emotions will leave you powerless everytime.